How do you handle grieving in the public eye? Photo shoots, events, fitness classes, church, and inspiring others while hurting. How am I keeping up?
If you are following me on social media then you know I have been an emotional wreck for the last couple of months. I am a very private person and usually, I can pretend that everything is ok which is not always a good thing.
I wasn’t ready this time tho! Everything caught me completely off guard and because we are friends I’m going to be open and honest about this journey.
I’m 34 and I have not lost many people close to me. Unexpected loss is something I’m unfamiliar with. My grandfather and I were very close and when he passed away I was crushed (I was 19). My grandfather was sick. It was kind of expected, though we were praying for the best it was something he was prepared for. This time it was different. Big Time!
My cousin was killed. And I wish I could dress it up to make me feel better, but I can’t. There are no words to make it sound better! Someone selfishly took her life. I can’t believe I’m writing this, but it happened.
I was the only child growing up and the oldest grandgirl. So most of my time was running around with my boy cousins until my Aunt brought her home. I was 7 when she was born so you know what that means she was my guinea pig. Everything I learned, she was the one who did it with me. Fake 911 calls, hairstyles, just being kids and we were bad, but you couldn’t tell our grandma that. We were “God’s greatest gifts” to her being the first grandgirls of the family.
I started therapy earlier this month. It’s been so good for me. Growing up in the church I had this “God will heal me” mentality. But really, “God made the therapist to help heal me.
Therapy is such an underutilized tool. I’m loving my therapy sessions. At first, it was hard to open up but now that I see how it’s affecting its easier. If you didn’t know there is this stigma that therapy is for crazy people. It’s really important to break the myth about therapy. Mental health is just as important as physical health. We must take care of minds like we do every other component of our life.
It is a process. One that will restart again and again. Falling in love with the process is necessary for peace and calmness. Realizing that every season is not sunshine. And most importantly understanding that I can’t change any of this. That’s where I am right now!
I can’t leave without giving you outfit details. This dress is from Shein. I’m wearing a size 3x. Use the code “Sweat20” and receive 20% off of your purchase of $59 or more.
A lot of you raved about these polka dot pants from Shein! They are the coziest, but I ordered a size too big! These are very true to size, order a size down! This crop tee is perfect for a tea lover like me! Hot, unsweet, sweet, ice cold! Tea is a southern treat!! Don’t forget to use the coupon code SWEAT20 and save!
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